How We Talk About Consent in Secondary Schools

But the new Relationship and Sex Education guidance for secondary schools says…

“By the end of secondary school, pupils should know how to recognise the characteristics and positive aspects of healthy one-to-one intimate relationships, which include mutual respect, consent, loyalty, trust, shared interests and outlook, sex and friendship.”

Basically, educating about consent is one of the keys to showing young people how to have healthy intimate relationships.

Peer on peer sexual abuse is an issue that troubles many schools and colleges, and it is important that young people know that they will be supported if it happens to them.

Here are some key statistics from the Girlguiding's Girls' Attitudes Survey 2017 which highlight the scale of the issue.

• 64% of girls aged 13-21 had experienced sexual violence or sexual harassment at school or college in the past year. This included 39% having their bra strap pulled by a boy and 27% having their skirts pulled up within the last week.
• Over a third (37%) of female students and 6% of male students at mixed-sex schools have personally experienced some form of sexual harassment at school.
• Almost a quarter (24%) of female students and 4% of male students at mixed-sex schools have been subjected to unwanted physical touching of a sexual nature while at school.
• This evidence highlights not only the importance of education around consent, but also of discussing wider societal factors that may contribute to this behaviour (hello sexism!)

According to the Sexual violence and sexual harassment between children in schools and colleges 2018 Report, all staff should be aware of the importance of:

• making clear that sexual violence and sexual harassment is not acceptable, will
• never be tolerated and is not an inevitable part of growing up
• not tolerating or dismissing sexual violence or sexual harassment as “banter”, “part of growing up”, “just having a laugh” or “boys being boys”;
• challenging behaviours (potentially criminal in nature), such as grabbing bottoms, breasts and genitalia, flicking bras and lifting up skirts. Dismissing or tolerating such behaviours risks normalising them
• understanding that all of the above can be driven by wider societal factors beyond the school and college, such as everyday sexist stereotypes and everyday sexist language. This is why a whole school/college approach (especially preventative education) is important

How can Loudmouth help you?

We have two programmes which explore consent in detail: Trust Me and Safe and Sound. Both programmes include discussion based workshops which introduce the concept of “Enthusiastic Consent” - which is exactly what it sounds like - consenting enthusiastically!

This term is used to show that people should only have sex when they are 100% sure they want to, not when they are feeling pressured. This idea really helps to clarify that consent is not just about getting a ‘yes’ out of somebody - it’s about making sure both partners feel happy and safe.

Trust Me: Exploring consent in healthy relationships

Trust Me is our sexual health programme, which looks at common mistakes young people might make in early sexual relationships. In the drama, our young characters Dave and April struggle to communicate about sex, and their awkwardness leads them to engaging in sexual activity without stopping to ask each other what they want. The follow up workshop includes an activity where the young people vote on what they think counts as clear consent. This is a great chance to discuss emotional coercion and ‘Enthusiastic Consent’, whilst also clearing up common misconceptions. This group discussion allows the young people to gain confidence in asserting to their peers what they think is right or wrong when it comes to consent.

Safe and Sound: Exploring consent in abusive relationships

Safe and Sound follows a relationship in which sixteen year old Sian is abused by her older boyfriend Zac. The drama explores many different types of abuse, including sexual assault. The young people then get a chance to talk to the characters themselves in a ‘hotseat’ activity, using their voice to challenge Zac on his misconceptions of consent. In the workshops we discuss consent in the context of a female perpetrator emotionally coercing her boyfriend, showing how male victims often have their masculinity used against them. Through this scenario we introduce ‘Enthusiastic Consent’, discussing how a ‘yes’ given under emotional pressure cannot be taken at face value.

Sounds fantastic! How do I book?

If you are interested in booking Trust Me or Safe and Sound (or both!) for your school, you can fill in an enquiry form on our website. Or, if you’d like to speak to someone from our lovely operations team, you can call us on 0121 446 4880.

By encouraging young people to discuss important issues like consent with each other, together we can raise their confidence and help them to develop healthy, happy and safe relationships.