What is... Enthusiastic Consent?

To make things easier, there's a term that's growing in popularity that we absolutely love... ‘Enthusiastic Consent’ - which is exactly what it says on the tin, giving consent - enthusiastically! This means that the person consenting is...

• excited about the sexual activity
• not feeling pressured or coerced
• sober enough to make this decision

In a perfect world, we would all have the confidence to tell our sexual partners exactly what we want (or don’t want) in the bedroom. But many of us just haven’t been socialised that way.

Women have historically been encouraged not to communicate their sexual desire, for fear of being slut shamed.

This presents a problem, because when they actually do want to have sex, they might not be communicating this clearly with their partner, and acts of ‘passive consent’, like removing clothes, has become the accepted norm.

On the flipside, men have traditionally been socialised in a way which makes it hard for them to say no to sexual activity.

According to the media (we’re looking at you, James Bond) men’s masculinity rather depends on them wanting sex… pretty much all the time. This leaves them vulnerable to sexual violence as well.

So even though ‘enthusiastic consent’ might be easy to understand, it’s not always easy to implement, particularly when you’re young and EVERYTHING feels awkward.

So, how can young people help each other feel more comfortable giving enthusiastic consent? By asking each other of course! Young people need to understand that if their sexual partner hasn’t volunteered clear consent, then they need to ask for it.

“But that’s awkward too!” Yeah, fair enough, at first they probably will feel just as awkward asking for clear consent than they do about giving it. But you know what's more awkward? Accidentally assaulting your partner!

This is why RSE is so important. The earlier young people get used to talking about sex and relationships with trusted adults and their friends, the more confident they will feel articulating their needs when they enter a sexual relationship.

And that’s why we’re so enthusiastic about the term ‘Enthusiastic Consent’!